


Safe Tulle

by Solstice0612



Series: Homage to the Tablet Stories [2]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-07-16 22:48:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7287757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solstice0612/pseuds/Solstice0612
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Candy met Daniel, but Sandy and Jack picked tulle. This did not get a beta, so please bear with me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe Tulle

The first thing Jack noticed when he opened his eyes was that the box in his hands was going to fall. Quickly, he lowered it onto the counter but kept the ancient communication stone firmly held in his palm.

This place did not look like a barber shop. His ninja senses had told him something was up and he half expected that Joe the Barber had found another stone.

He glanced around. Buttons and appliqués at 12PM, rolls of tulle and organza on his six, and racks with sewing stuff at 8PM--not his usual haunts.

He looked down at his body. Breasts! He reached with his hand and pocked: they were real. He was a woman! And yet, he was not entirely surprised. He already had the t-shirt on the inhabiting in other people’s bodies thing. Now, if he had been turned into a dog…. Oooooh, wouldn’t it be cool to experience the sheer blessing of dogginess?

Jack filed that thought in his mental drawer for “things to try if one can find a friend crazy enough to help.” He did not want his body to go running around like crazy at the first bouncing ball. Daniel would help, but could he trust him not to send him rushing after a flying stick? Hmmm…. he needed to think about that.

Daniel. Right. Get on with business. This woman must be with him in his office now, freaking out.

Jack searched around and saw the large tote bag on the floor near him. With a mild sense of guilt he rifled inside and found the wallet and the driver’s license. Candy something, age, hair color, eye color.... Yes, the address!

For crying out loud! What was an ancient stone doing in Australia! Ooooh, kangaroos! How far would he need to drive to see one? They are like bouncy dogs, right? It would be so much fun to play with one of them. Or be one…

Jack filed that thought in his mental drawer for “things to try if one can find a friend crazy enough to help.” Daniel. Right, back to business.

“Candy, sweetie, I’m checked out. Are you ready to go? The girls are waiting.”

Jack was startled. He chastised himself; he was getting sloppy. The woman had a distinct Texas twang and was wearing cowboy boots with her dress.

“Uhm… Not just yet. I want this box, but I’m not sure what else I need.”

“Didn’t you have a list in your tablet, sweetie?”

“Oh.” Jack glanced at the tote bag and saw a computer tablet tacked on the side that looked like Carter’s. He turned it on and the screen flashed with a long list of items he could not identify, except for tulle. He knew what that was. Tulle was safe.

“I need tulle.”

“Did you decide on the color?”

Before saying he had no idea, he searched the tote bag again. There was a sparkling green thing inside. He pulled it out; it was an unfinished dancing dress. “The black tulle with sparkly sequins would look nice, don’t you think?” asked Jack.

The woman thought for a moment, “Ya know, sweetie, everyone told me, ‘Sandy, go talk to Candy when you’re in Australia, she knows dresses.’ They sure were right; that’s a great choice.”

Jack managed to look smug, “Wonderful! I’ll check out and meet you and uhm… the girls outside.”

“Sure thing.”

Once Sandy was gone, he put his hand inside the rhinestones box and let the ancient stone go.

He open his eyes. Daniel was pulling away. He had the nagging feeling of having been kissed.

“Daniel, what did you do?”

“Just saying goodbye.”

Jack frowned.

“It’s in Australia. Got the address from the driver’s license.”

“Candy gave me her phone number.”

Jack raised his eyebrows.

“I asked nicely.”

“She’ll never recover.”

“Are we flying?”

“Odyssey. And Daniel?”

“What?”

“Kangaroos.”

Daniel rolled his eyes as he reached for the phone.

\--The End--


End file.
